Starting To Worry- WTF?

I walked by this morning and she wasn't there. I panicked a little bit. It seems that I can't get her out of my mind. I was so worried I asked someone who was sleeping there where Janet was. He said she had gotten a hotel room for a couple nights. I felt relieved but just as quickly I was worried again. I knew she was probably on a binge. The day for me was very emotional. Wrapping up my legal complaint has brought up feelings that I thought I had dealt with. The denial of my right to official time to complete it was more than I could handle today. So i decided to go home to just finish and get on with my life. As I was walking to the Max I decided to walk up there to just check. And she was there. Drunk off her ass and donning a sharpie penis on her cheek. Her boyfriend tried to wake her up but she was passed out. I wanted to give her $7.77 so I put it in her pocket. She snapped out of it and I could tell she was trying to figure out how she knew me. Eventually the fog cleared when i offered her my Chonga Bagel. She loves bagels apparently. She apologized for forgetting my name.

I said "It's alright. No worries."

I'm putting together a care package for her and I needed to know what size she was. I told her that I was worried about her when I didn't see her in the morning. I explained how i couldn't stop thinking about her and that every morning I was down there I would look for her. She thanked me for the money and the bagel. She told me not to bring her anything...to just talk to her. She teared up and said "I don't have any positive influences in my life." I told her that I would because I don't have a choice since I'm constantly thinking about her.

Before I left i told her that when she is ready, to just say the word and I will help her find the help she needs. She was touched, so touched that she started tearing up again. She told me that she can see the colors of my soul and that I am beautiful. She said that she sees yellow, pink and orange. Maya you were so right. She does see herself in me. She loves my hair. She said that she used to have beautiful hair like mine. I told her to just hold that thought that she can get there again. She just needs to make the choice.

I'm a little worried about how much I think about her. I'm worried that I'm risking my own vibration by being around lower vibing people. But then I realized that she needs that desperately and in reality she does lift me higher. She always replenishes me with beautiful heartfelt compliments. Seeing the smile on her face when I leave is worth it. Plus she inspires me. She thinks that maybe her purpose in life was to inspire me because she doesn't see herself living for much longer. I told her that she has a much bigger purpose and to just hold on just a little longer cause I need her. ~KO~

My ladies reminded me to return to sender all the emotions that weren't mine! Yes!

#WTF #Worry #SecretFrustrations #ReturnToSender